Casanova or con artist? How to protect yourself from romance fraud

Published on 18th July, 2022 at 03:21 pm

The Tinder Swindler and Inventing Anna have shed light on how con artists are harnessing mobile dating apps and social media to pull off a new kind of fraud. Their stories may be false, but their modus operandi is very real, used by fellow tricksters around the world. Here’s how romance fraud works, and how you can protect yourself from becoming the victim of one yourself.

Relationship fraudsters are like elaborate storytellers. They’re professionals at creating imaginary worlds that their readers get drawn into. Their fake online profiles are intriguing, and often hard to resist: a rich, lonely bachelor or a pilot looking for a companion with whom they can travel the world. Who could resist? Once the fraudster has gained his victim’s trust, he uses his charm to manipulate and ultimately steal from his target.

These relationship fraudsters are organised, well resourced and often part of a large online crime syndicate. This type of fraud has risen a shocking 80% since 2020 and, according to the US’s Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI), victims of romance fraud lost $1 billion (that’s nearly R16 billion) globally last year. It sounds like something you would never fall for, but anyone who’s ever fallen in love knows that we can make pretty irrational decisions when we’re on cloud nine.

“When a relationship develops, trust is the basic element, and in the initial stages it’s still developing,” says Pauline de Villiers, a clinical social worker. “The sudden shift from a dating context to a money-lending context may be so quick that there isn’t time to check in on yourself and to analyse how you feel about it, so you may extend the trust into the new context – even though you have some misgivings. It may be difficult to articulate the holes in your trust when the love interest suddenly needs money from you, so it has to be all right, until it suddenly isn’t.”

Romance fraud isn’t the only kind of cybercrime you need to be vigilant about. Here’s a guide to more broadly protecting yourself online.

How they work

Romance con artists slowly gain your trust – sometimes over months before their games start. Suddenly they need money for something like a major business deal that’s about to collapse, or money to visit a dying relative who owes them a substantial inheritance. They’ll push you for urgent payment, and somehow lead you to feel incredible guilt if you don’t produce the goods. They’re heartless and often leave their victims in disbelief with emptied bank accounts, a broken heart and utter shame at being conned.

And it doesn’t end there.

Even if a potential victim does smell a rat and ends all communication, the scammers aren’t finished with them. The “nearly” victims then get put onto a “suckers” list, and their details are often sold off to other defrauders who’ll then try to hit that target from another angle – knowing exactly what their victims’ weaknesses are.

Your credit is also at risk

“Romance fraud can lead to a serious financial setback, which can result in years of repair,” says Ayanda Ndimande, business development manager at Sanlam Retail Credit. “If you, as the victim, have taken debt that you are not able to settle, it will affect your credit score if payments are not met. Credit scores have multiple usages other than obtaining credit, some being seeking employment, taking insurance, looking for rental property etc. A scarred credit score can damage the credit reputation of victims,” says Ndimande.

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Who falls for these scams?

Everyone is at risk. Research consistently shows that victims come from all education levels and socio-economic backgrounds. Techshielder, a leading website for online security, reports that the Philippines is responsible for the highest number of dating scam cases, at over 1 300 in 2020. South Africa features 18th on the list – but don’t let the not-in-the-top-10 stat lower your guard. In fact, in 2021, SAPS arrested eight suspects for having swindled unsuspecting victims out of R100 million using this modus operandi.

South African Banking Risk Information Centre (SABRIC) CEO Nischal Mewalall cautions: “Your personal data, when combined with technology, has become the new key to the safe that holds your money in a bank, so you need to safeguard your data to prevent criminals getting access to your safe.”

Tips to guard yourself against romance fraud

Megan Govender, Head of Forensic Services at Sanlam, shares the signs to look out for to avoid becoming the next victim:

• Research a prospect’s photo and profile using online searches to see if the material has been used elsewhere.
• Don’t rush into a relationship – move slowly and ask questions.
• Beware if the individual seems too perfect, or asks you to leave the dating service or communicate via another method.
• Beware if the individual tries to isolate you from friends and family, or requests inappropriate photos or financial information that could later be used to extort you.
• Do not share inappropriate photos of yourself!
• A red flag is if the individual agrees to meet with you, but continuously cancels at the last minute.
• Beware if you are asked to send money to someone you’ve never met.
• The individual knows more about you than you think, and uses a variety of methods of social engineering.
• The individual plays on emotions.

I’ve been defrauded. Now what?

If you suspect you have been a victim, there are steps you can and should take. “Report it to the platform that you met the individual on, and if you believe that you have been scammed – report it to the SAPS to investigate further,” say Govender. You can also report online fraud via this government portal: https://www.cybersecurityhub.gov.za/.

As a Reality Club, Core, Plus, Health or Access for Sanlam Group Risk member, you have free telephonic legal advice 24/7 as one of your benefits. Receive guidance on legal matters, including a referral to an attorney for a free face-to-face 30-minute consultation, letter of demand and telephone call.